TOP TEN THINGS TO DO IN RENO DURING AN EARTHQUAKE:

10. Jump out of bed and fall on your ass.
 9. Wait for slot machines to fall over and release coins.
 8. Realize now you don't need an excuse for getting home late
 7. Have sex.  (C'mon, _I've_ never done it during an earthquake.)
 6. Change the highway distance markers to adjust for tectonic shift.
 5. Drink anything that said "Shake Well Before Opening"
 4. Invite people to play Jenga.
 3. Practice juggling knives.
 2. Play pinball and act surprised when it says, "Tilt!"
 1. Be Elsewhere