EARTHQUAKE PREDICTION



1.                  ATMOS :   PRESS CONFERENCE



2.                  SPEAKER : ...and with the extra data gathered

                    from Tuesday night's disaster we can improve

                    our ability to predict future earthquakes and

                    save the lives of thousands.



3.                  REPORTER :     Mr. Noriyuki? Is it true that

                    the Japanese government has spent over a

                    hundred billion yen on developing techniques

                    for earthquake prediction?



4.                  SPEAKER : Yes, that is correct.



5.                  REPORTER 2 :   And how many earthquakes have

                    you successfully predicted?



6.                  SPEAKER : Well, that all depends on what you

                    mean by 'earthquake'...



7.                  REPORTER 2 :   Those big shaky things where the

                    ground leaps about and buildings fall down.



8.                  SPEAKER : Ah, yes, well we did successfully

                    predict the earthquake at the end of the film

                    Earthquake starring Charlton Heston - wonderful

                    actor, such range.



9.                  REPORTER 2 :   But no real ones.



10.                 SPEAKER : No.



11.                 REPORTER :     Have you in fact ever predicted

                    anything useful at all?



1.                  SPEAKER : Oh yes, we correctly predicted last

                    week - although we were a bit unsure if there

                    would be a Wednesday - and we have done

                    extensive research towards predicting the end

                    of this sketch: apparently the dialogue will

                    fade out slowly and be followed by the

                    Weekending theme.



2.                  REPORTER 2 :   Well based on your previous form

                    there doesn't look like much chance of that

                    happening... (FADING OUT) Oh no, there we go.



3.                  REPORTER :     And here comes the music.

                    Congratulations.



                         (ENDS)